NOTE TO SELF

It’s been quite a while since I wrote.

Look at what I’ve become for the past few months. This is not merely a teenage phase for the past few months have been my Dark Ages. I’m in a state of retrogression. I’ve become stressed, depressed, anxious, decrepit and debauched. This is not just because I haven’t written for quite a while. I had negativity. I could’ve done better than just let negativity stagnate my mind and erode away my morale. Because of negativity, I made erroneous decisions and had wrong priorities. My judgment was clouded, my optimism was choked and my resolve was stifled.

And so, I think I’ve fallen from the grace of some people. I have no doubt that the way they look upon me may have changed because of my retrogression. I’ve isolated myself from good people. I put myself in invisible walls by living in my own world and living life according to my self-whims. I had despair, pessimism, perversity, doubt, irresponsibility, deceit, idleness, hatred, egotism, envy, intemperance and conceit. I have put my life in a state of chaos.

My situation may seem pitiful. However, I cannot pity myself and I should not have other people pity myself because I never deserved pity in the first place. It was my fault why my life got wrong in the past few months. However, I still have my principles (or whatever remains of them). I know that I cannot keep myself submerged in my darkness. Amidst these inner demons that torment me, perhaps there still remains some angelic solace, some hope that I can change my mess of a life.

I am human. I have my flaws. But, I know how to make up for my flaws. All I need is some push. That push should come from myself since I should not solely entrust my life to others.

I’ve fallen low and deep, so I must get back up. I shall free myself from this negativity. I shall not isolate myself from others anymore. I’ll learn to prioritize. I’ll be more responsible, proactive and diligent in my studies. I’ll do what I can to reestablish my integrity. I’ll revive my dead optimism and severely injured conscience. I must stand up again no matter how painful my stumble was.

The past few months put metaphorical scars on me but I will face my consequences with conviction. Whatever can be corrected, I shall repair myself. I’ll cling on to my principles. I’ll consider my experience as a baptism of fire. I learned a lot. And I hope that others can learn as well from what I went through.

5 LESSONS I LEARNED WHILE I WAS ADMITTED IN THE HOSPITAL

Monday morning. VERY early morning… A feeling in my gut woke me up and I thought I needed to answer nature’s call by going to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and… toiled, toiled as much as I could to get rid of every bit of unhygienic “stuff” from my gut. It could have been a normal and perfectly habitual activity of a normal person with perfectly habitual, uh, habits… only that during those times, it was not normal and was not perfectly habitual. I was letting out my food’s remnants (badly, I tell you) not only from my underside, but also from my mouth via nausea or vomiting. And, I was already beyond 30 minutes in the bathroom.

Seeing that their first-aid treatment (banyos kag tsaa) was neither mitigating nor alleviating my situation, my parents decided to call for a cab and have their dehydrated and weakened (ahem) son admitted to the hospital. The specialists finally had me know that I had amoebiasis and UTI.

I think I got them either from the teensy-weensy oysters (sisi) I ate during Sunday lunch (and I only had three; THREE TINY OYSTERS, I TELL YOU!!!), or the kangkong I had during Sunday dinner (my father theorized that there might be traces of fertilizer from the aforementioned veggie… blech), or both.

SO, WHAT DID I LEARN WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL? Well…

LESSON #5: At the moment it is attached to you, IV fluid will be your constant companion throughout your stay in the hospital… even in the bathroom.

LESSON #4: Hospital food is not the worst thing in the world… IT CAN BE BOTH THE WORST AND SUCKIEST THING YOU’VE EVER EXPERIENCED GASTRONOMICALLY. (although I frankly don’t have anything against hospital cafeteria personnel)

LESSON #3: Do not panic when blood comes out and comes into your peripheral and direct vision. I’ve seen it being drawn out of my arm for testing, and saw it flowing out into my IV tube for a bit (kay namuwersa ko).

LESSON #2: The sight and feel of touching your “by-products” (if you catch my drift) is repulsing and downright disgusting indeed. However, if your specialist needs samples for analysis, just do like what Mike Rowe does in “Dirty Jobs” on Discovery Channel (I had cable while I was confined) and extract them into those little plastic cups (with the lids) that they give you, for goodness’s sakes. I mean it. It’s for your own good.

*****

Staying in that sanctuary for convalescence may not be (overly) bad, despite missing valuable class sessions, sacrificing some comforts (a.k.a. dairy and fried stuff) for the sake of speedy recovery and adding to one's general expenditures (kamahal man sang bulong). I know you don’t want to experience what I experienced in those two and a half days (and beyond). Hence, aside from proper hand-washing, hygiene maintenance, healthy diet, adequate rest and beneficially productive physical activity, just follow what I’m going to do (most of all)…

*****

LESSON #1:

INDI NA ‘KO LIWAT MAGKAON SISI UKON TALABA! BWISET!!! ARRRGH!!!!!! >_<

Good luck, godspeed, God bless! :D

THE GREATEST SCOTTISH ROCK BAND EVER

I only heard of them while I was in the initial stages of my Gaelophilia/Celtophilia (probably late Senior High School to early Freshmen college), but the songs of Runrig, the band that I’m talking about, are just so gosh-darn great. I can really feel the Scottish-ness of their music and the poetic manner of their lyrics. They may be unheard of in the Philippines, but I’ve read that they’re quite popular not only in their homeland at Scotland, the United Kingdom, Denmark, Germany, Canada, and even the U.S. as well (although I think that I’m the only one in the Philippines who has heard of them). If Ireland has their U2, perhaps Scotland has their Runrig.

I much prefer the band’s pre-1997 line up over their current one since their relatively old tunes are more likeable.

Here are some of my all-time favorites:

1. “News from Heaven”
I’ve fallen for damsels before, but I’ve never fallen for a song… until I heard this play. Rory MacDonald reminds me of David Bowie, by the way.

“Late people come, take the stage
Famous moments vanish without trace
Trees grow tall, fields grow wheat
Woman grows older, man grows weak
But now you’re here, I feel no fear
I can’t believe the news from heaven…♪”

2. “Protect and Survive”
It’s a nostalgic song with epic lyrics. I really dig Malcolm Jones and his mandolin-playing in the middle.

“You took your sacrifice to the gods of war,
Traded your children’s lives for a mass of gold
You beat your plowshares into swords
Breathing free…♫
Once in a lifetime, you live and love
Once in a lifetime, you die
Once in a moment, the sun goes down
Protect and survive…♪“

3. “Stepping down the Glory Road”
This upbeat song about culture and celebration comes to mind whenever I’m euphorically jubilant about an achievement. I love Malcolm’s accordion solo.

“So resurrect the bards
Liberate the word inspired
Stepping down the Glory Road…♫”

4. “Skye”
Listen to this song and let the music tour you around the Scottish isle of Skye. I think I busted a gut while listening to Malcolm’s guitar solo. It was too awesome!!!

“How can’t you see the wilderness growing free
Time wounded and scarred, stroking away the years
It’s hard to believe but memories are old ghosts
Mountains of black and gold, sunsets falling over the moor
Oh, take me there
‘S na horo eile, horo bho
‘S na horo bho, hillean o
‘S na horo eile ho, take me there…♫”

5. “Healer in Your Heart”
Donnie Munro’s main vocals blend wonderfully with Rory’s back-up (and I dig Rory’s bass).

“For the universe and the stars are around you now
But the healer in your heart is only a breath away
There’s silence and there’s blindness in a raging world
But the healer in your heart is only a moment away…♪”

6. “Tear down These Walls”
Indeed, it is a pity that Donnie had to leave the band in 1997. He really was and will always be the original voice of Runrig.

“Tear down these walls
All men were born the same
You came here with nothing
but naked and a name, oh, a name…♪
Tear down these walls they keep raising for you…♫”

* * * * *

Fast forward more than a decade after Donnie’s departure, Runrig is still a popular band with new members and relatively new songs. Their current vocalist, Bruce Gunthro, is great but I wish that they could have a reunion concern with Donnie, though.

RUNRIG GU BRATH!

There’s a great disturbance in the balance of the universe…

…and I sensed it as Bea (my first cousin) showed me something from the FB page of Ariane Zoe (my second cousin).

It was disturbing. This great disturbance was… disturbing indeed.

BEHOLD!

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…Close.

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…Closer.

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…Even closer.

(-Insert dramatic music here.-)

Oh, no. The little sprout is picking up stuff. SILLY, DISTURBING, BUT CUTE STUFF.

Preserving an Ethnic Legacy

“Indigenous peoples are all peoples who have a sense of territorial belonging and who have a linguistic affinity to each other… Every Filipino is an indigenous person…”
– Briggs Pawid, Ibaloi

Land is life. And the Philippine archipelago provides lifeblood for the Filipino people, especially those who prefer to preserve their traditional way of life. Its fertile soil, forest-covered mountains and flowing rivers are their source of necessities. The brown-skinned natives foraged, hunted, fished, farmed, and thrived since time immemorial. As they progressed, they learned to weave cloth, forge metal, carve wooden sea-vessels, create their own writing system, establish their own governing systems, and trade with merchants from other lands. They were eventually able to fashion their own traditional literature, music, dances, visual arts, and even their own social norms and religious beliefs. Indeed, indigenous Filipinos owe much of their simple lives and rich culture to the land that they deem sacred.

Preserving Identity amidst Foreign Domineering

This culture treasured by the natives has been kept intact even when consecutively faced with the Spanish rapier, American revolver, and Japanese bayonet. The rugged Cordilleran landscape and inherent fearlessness of the Igorot people were instrumental in repelling foreign threats, while the religious zeal and strong valor of the Moros and Lumads of Mindanao kept foreign dominion at bay until the early half of the 20th century. The same can be said for the other tribal and aboriginal peoples who had their nature-oriented beliefs, indomitable valor, and rugged terrain, as well as their resourcefulness, for allies in their struggle to protect their way of life.

The rich culture of our indigenous groups established our national identity, our being Filipino, long before foreign explorers set foot on our soil. According to KATRIBU Partylist, these indigenous peoples account for 15% of the Philippine population. Almost every island of the Philippine archipelago has at least one indigenous group whose culture is unique compared to the area’s general populace.

The Mountain Princesses of Panay

Whoever thought that somewhere in the far-flung mountains of Tapaz, Capiz in Panay Island, there dwells a tribe called the Tumandok? Relying on nature’s bounty and living in an isolated community composed of traditional huts, they have a long-held practice of choosing a girl to be the “binukot” or “village princess”.

The veiled binukot is once an important figure for the Tumandok village due to her task of learning the tribe’s dances, songs and epics so that she can pass on the tribe’s traditional arts to the next generation. In return, servants from the village bathe her, groom her, serve her only the best food, and lift her on a hammock (so that her feet won’t touch the ground), much like a real princess, though she was also not allowed to play, or go to school to get an education, or do much physical work.

Through her and her successors, the literature and culture of the Tumandok are preserved. That line of succession almost dissipated especially during World War II. Due to their lack of capacity to run (or even walk), these “mountain princesses” became the one of the first victims of the Japanese invaders’ rape of the archipelago. Following those brutal events, many families stopped raising a binukot and this tradition, along with their people’s epics, was almost lost forever. Now many of these princesses remaining have grown aged. Their own daughters and granddaughters refuse to live the royal yet austere life of the binukot and opt instead to go to school for them to accomplish their future goals.

Nevertheless, actions are being done in order to preserve a literary and artistic heritage that could have faded away. In Iloilo’s Garangan mountain, small schools called “balay turun-an” have been established by the natives themselves to pass on their oral traditions and dances to their young people so that they can preserve their tribe’s culture without compelling their women to become binukot.

Recently, Elena Gardoce, the most famous binukot of Panay, died at the age of 98. Seven binukots, ranging from 70 to 100 years of age, are said to remain in Panay as of now.

Twangs and Thumps of the T’Boli

An artistic tradition is also being kept alive on Sebu Lake in Mindanao. A T’boli girl’s dance is accompanied by the strum of kudyapi (a stringed instrument) and the beat of blowon (a type of gong). The melody imitates sounds found in nature like those of the birds, the wind, and the water. Nature is also the basis of the T’boli women’s weaving patterns.

The T’boli tribe’s high regard for nature originates from their belief in the Great Spirit Dwata who is said dwell upon everywhere: land, water and sky. This people’s reverence for Dwata and respect for nature is not just heard in their chants of invocation; they also put it into practice every time they partake of the earth’s bounty. Avoiding the use of inorganic fertilizers in agriculture, shunning mine operations in their place, living simply and taking only whatever necessities (wood, bananas, etc.) they need have made the T’boli a people living in harmony with the earth.

“We had everything in abundance. We had our carabaos, had our rice… we had so much rice that sometimes it would get spoiled… and we had our bells, and our horses, and the exchange… and now this is gone”, recounts Ursula Schoer, advocate for preservation of T’boli culture.

In spite of modernization’s progress, “civilized society” also poses disadvantages for the T’boli. When missionaries came “…and money was issued, it became a threat to our wealth because now we are poor” said Schoer.

The prevalence of city life is also drawing the youth of the T’boli tribe away from the treasured traditions of their elders and ancestors. Thus, the School of Indigenous Knowledge and Helobung School for Living Traditions was established in the T’boli area of Lake Sebu in order to maintain their tribe’s culture and to share it with other peoples visiting the place.

Igorot Culture – Struggle for Territory

Whether Kalinga, Isneg, Bontoc, Ibaloi, Kankana-ey or Ifugao, the Igorot seem to be a hallmark of Cordillera region in northern Luzon. Most Filipinos recognize the Banawe Rice Terraces that the Ifugao dug out by hand 2,000 years ago; some might even be familiar with the Ifugao epic “Hudhud”. Maybe those who visited Baguio have already partaken in an Ibaloi Pesshet feast in which livestock are butchered and prepared amidst a festive dance with gong music.

The Igorot are diverse even in their dialects but one thing they have in common is their ties toward the land they live in. Mountains and river valleys seem to more of a uniting factor than an obstacle for the Igorot of Cordillera. Forested peaks, elevated terraces, and secluded river valleys have been protectors and providers for these peoples and their ancestors. Also, the rugged terrain may have tested the endurance of the Igorot warrior who may have hunted for wild boar (or headhunted for that American explorer). Territory, tradition and life are intertwined for the Igorot people; they are even willing to die defending and fighting for it.

Not all modern influences are favorable to the Igorot as progress, especially of those with self-interest, can also bring a threat to their land, culture and life. This threat only proves their dedication and courage as a people. A testament to those Igorot traits is Kalinga chieftain Macliing Dulag during the Martial Law era. He, along with the Bontoc, staunchly opposed the Chico dam construction which could have led to the loss of their ancestral domain and disruption of the Kalingas’ way of life. As his hut (with him inside) was strafed by the military, his martyrdom for indigenous people’s rights earned him a place amongst the valiant heroes of the Marcos period.

“Malaking kahambugan ang umangkin ng lupa sapagkat tayo itong inaangkin ng lupa. Paano natin aangkinin ang bagay na naririyan pa rin kahit wala na tayo? Tanging ang lahi ang maaring umangkin ng lupa sapagkat ang lahi ay walang kamatayan,” Macliing spoke in protest of foreign corporate encroachment upon his people’s ancestral land.

The Igorot struggle for territorial security still continues as more impending threats arise from dam construction, large-scale mining, and corporate logging. Cultural groups in the Cordillera like the Dap-ayan ti Kultura iti Kordilyera (DKK) and Salidummay support that struggle, as well as those of other indigenous groups and the greater struggle of the marginalized sectors, through their music and performing arts.

Play Ethnic

Most Filipinos are music lovers. Ironically, Filipinos put more high regard on foreign pop, rock, and hip-hop music over their own local sounds. Most of the original Pinoy music (OPM) we hear nowadays is even derived from Western melodies. Although foreign influence abound in our modern music, it is a good thing that some Filipino artists have ingeniously went back to their cultural roots and somehow generated a resurgence of patriotism by fusing current trends with indigenous beats.

Joey L. Ayala of Ang Bagong Lumad takes pride in his cultural upbringing from Mindanao through his incorporation of new pop and old native tunes (hence, “Alter-native” or “Bagong Lumad”). The same trend has been done before by Asin and Ang Grupong Pendong back in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. Pendong Aban Jr. and Mike “Nonoy” Pillora (who were both band members of Asin) even lived with various Lumad communities just to learn their music and their way of life.

Indigenous melodies are also incorporated by artists of the Filipino protest music genre. Some songs of Pol Galang, Patatag, and Inang Laya often have ethnic flavors and patriotic undertones in order to reawaken nationalist sentiment among its listeners in protest demonstrations for society’s marginalized sectors.

Joey L. Ayala and Pendong Aban Jr. are still active performers, playing their music throughout the country and even abroad. Even the new generation has produced some performing groups, namely Pinikpikan, Kadangyan, Kontra Gapi (of UP Diliman) and Makiling (formerly Makiling Ensemble). These groups, both old and new, continue to promote indigenous culture and love of country through their performances in schools and colleges, gig bars, festivals, and cultural centers, and concert stages.

* * * * *

“If we lost the history of the tribal people, all the indigenous people, we also lose the history of humanity. We are part of that history,” mentions Helobung School coordinator Maria Todi Wanan of the T’boli. These indigenous peoples or cultural minorities are our only link to our rich past long before the foreigners arrived. Although globalization is the current trend to modern progress, tradition and heritage must be preserved so that future generations can also have the opportunity to appreciate their own culture. The only way to do this is that the government and various sectors of society should conduct more measures to promote and maintain indigenous people’s culture, welfare and rights.

Kadangyan vocalist and true-blooded Cordilleran Bhaba Mitra would always say that “the beauty of every place in the world is in its own culture.” As roots are being rediscovered, identities are also made clear. We Filipinos ought to know that we ourselves are Filipinos, through our people’s culture because the moment that we forget our culture, we also forget our identity as a people.

* Special acknowledgement to the Tolentine Star which originally published this article in its “Re-Unwritten” (June-November 2010) issue

Politics and the People*

Are politicians really holding public office for the sake of the people? Most of them have time to golf in Wack Wack (or watch a Pacquiao boxing match in Las Vegas) and still earn millions, while many workers labor overtime and still get paid below the minimum wage.

Are there still politicians elected in the name of progress? Most of them own lands and big businesses, while many members of the marginalized sectors are landless and jobless.

Are politicians still upholding patriotic and national interests? Most of them have connections with foreign or multinational corporations and have time to be “diplomats” to other nations, while they only approach their ordinary constituents during election periods and special occasions.

Our country’s population is around 90 million and less than a percentage of them are holders of political position and public office. A large percentage of this “minority of the powerful”, are either prominent in name, well-moneyed, or both.

However, most of the common populace is uncertain if these “public servants” are really doing their job to serve the public. Infrastructure projects are only built to deodorize their names come election time. Priorities in education and other public sectors are being done only if the media is around to cover it.

When they get involved in scandals, both political and personal, and other blunders, it is rare for politicians to admit and make up for the errors in judgment they’ve made. Typically they would either deny a scandal, or entertain (but still not admit) it in the midst of media people. If criticism and public scrutiny arise, they resort to covert dirty tactics (the good ol’ 3G: Gold, Guns, Goons) to eliminate the threat of opposition.

Despite this tainted image of traditional politics, there are still politicians who still have patriotic and progressive sentiments with their ordinary and less-fortunate constituents. With integrity, they still have the courage to speak up against the faults of their more powerful colleagues. Without price, they could still air the grievances of the common populace. They know how to stand up with integrity for the sake of the people, regardless of death threats and “allegations of subversion and sedition”. Thus, they can be deemed as true public servants. It is ironic, however, that these true servants of the people are an even smaller minority in that less than a percentage consisting of politicians and public officials.

Currently, our country is messed up in terms of economy and politics. Proposed policies lack fangs and claws, and therefore, are not implemented. Its government is being alleged as corrupt, its people are often apathetic and careless, and profit is higher than principle. Thus, our politics is not really a politics for the people.

True people’s politics can only be attained if the populace is really participating in local affairs and national issues. How then can the people be able to participate if the House of Congress, House of Senate, or even Malacañang is being held by the powerful minority? Courts sessions, house hearings, and even elections do not seem to suffice in solving our people’s problems that they may have to resort to the streets, or in worst-case scenario, to the mountains. The problem is not just with the leaders or government offices; it would most likely be the system already established in our country and tightly rooted in our society.

Can we still be able to change this system for the better of the people? Well, it depends on your politics.

* Special acknowledgement to the Tolentine Star which originally published this article in its “Hupa” (June-November 2009) issue

Could-Have-Beens, If-Only’s, and What-Ifs

There are times that I’d lie down on my bed at night. It would be way beyond 10 or 11 PM. All lights are shut down. Everything would be pitch-black, except for a few spots here and there which illuminated by the argent moonlight and flimsy rays from the lamp of the electrical pole outside.

While everyone is already asleep, I’d still be awake and my eyes would still be open. I’m not really sure if it’s insomnia or not. A barrage of memories and thoughts would lambast my conscious mind. sually, it’s a case of “last song syndrome”, or residual excitement (from playing a game, watching a show or movie, or reading a book), or some unproductive and negative thoughts (that I occasionally struggle to dismiss). It may be that, or a flashback of memories which range from the few moments before I hit the sack or some instance that occurred years ago. Some of those instances would pertain to plans that didn’t push through, mistakes that could’ve been averted, deliberate sins that could’ve been absolutely repudiated, people that could’ve been closer friends, places that could’ve been explored, events and experiences that could’ve been significant, things that could’ve been created, opportunities that could been further expanded and utilized to their fullest potentials…

Could-have-beens (also known as could-haves) accompany the aforementioned barrage of wishful thinking that deprives me of my slumber.

- I could have been spending more of my time in mastering my formulas than sitting in front of the computer or TV screen, so that I could have had a more acceptable grade in Physics or Algebra back in High School…
– I could have been saving my allowance last semester to buy that new novel by whosthatauthoragain, that whatchamacallit gadget, etc.
– I could have excused myself from my ********** class with Sir/Miss ****** so that I could have attended Tal Kravitz’s musical performance…
– I could have just kept myself from saying or doing this or that instead of doing otherwise; the impression of other people about me could have changed…
– I could have asserted myself as a person with dignity, rather than let others (especially those “friends” of mine) stomp down on me, ridicule me, make wrong assumptions and conclusions about me, and misuse/abuse me.

Oftentimes, it’s a bunch of what-ifs.

- What if I just let go of the PC and passed it on to my little cousin, instead of being a bratty man-child and yelling at her to go away that one afternoon?
– What if I just refused the idea of deliberately watching those lascivious videos in the past, instead of sating my curiosity and jumpstarting a nasty, counterproductive habit which I had to struggle with and quit later on?
– What if I just shut my mouth, bottled up my feelings for someone and focused more on productive things, instead of flattering my crush/”inspiration”/object-of-affection in the past by telling her that I really like (or “love”) her?
– What if I treated my classmate back in nth grade or year with more respect and acknowledgement instead of being a snob or a jerk?
– What if I just took responsibility/liability myself for my mistake or wrongdoing instead of hiding from punishment or jurisdiction?

…And there are times that it’s the if-only’s.

- If only I could tell that guy or girl that I would like to be good friends with him or her, I could’ve made the impression of not being a snobbish or “suplado” person.
– If only I could tell my cousin (or some other family member) that I really love him/her and that I am really concerned about him/her, I could have had a greater feeling of security and belonging with my family.
– If only I could have had, more or less, the same interests and mindset of my peers and colleagues, I could have had a greater feeling of security and belonging with the people around me.
– If only I could have spent more time studying for my academics, I could have had excellent or near-perfect marks rather than settling for grades decent or “good enough” grades.
– If only I could have just swallowed my pride, apologized for the wrong things I had done and repaired the damage myself, I could have reconciled myself with others and earned people’s respect and acknowledgement more.

I could have been a better and stronger person…
What if I could completely give up my negative traits?
If only I could have changed myself for the better early on…

These are the kind of thoughts that not only plague me past my bedtime, but also disturb me during my working hours. I cannot help but to think what I could have done and not done, what I could have changed and maintained and what I could have planned and organized in advance. I know it is impractical and unrealistic, but these thoughts just happen. They just sort of come to me.

People might call me angst-ridden and being too worried, but I suppose it is already a part of my character. It might be my own psychosomatic defense mechanism for coping with life. And it isn’t easy to change that.

Indeed, I dwell too much on wishful [and regret-filled] thinking. However the things I think of are things of the past. You cannot change history…

And yet, it doesn’t mean you cannot change the future. You can transform what is to come by doing what needs to be done NOW. I may not be able to change the past,  but I can change the future by changing the present.

There may still be unchangeable things (like parts of my identity), but as the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi says:

“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.”

…And this reminds me of my humanity. I am only human. I am flawed. I am imperfect. Nevertheless, I can EXCEL and IMPROVE.

With regard to the things “THAT ARE” about me, I am Peace Flores, a young Negrense BSEd – English major student with mild cerebral palsy. I am politically progressive but I am a devout Roman Catholic. I can be moody, shallow, fun-loving, disoriented, stubborn, pessimistic, pathetic and lax sometimes but I can be composed, deep, serious, motivated, open-minded, enthusiastic, dynamic, and excellent also. I may have foes and adversaries but I also have family and friends.  Writing is my work, as well as my hobby and talent. Among other things, I also draw, read and play. Like other people, I have my own interests and pet peeves. I laugh [most of the time] and cry [sometimes]. I also feel pain, suffering, rage, boredom and anxiety. I have my strengths, in spite of my own weaknesses and strengths. I have a dream and that dream is to do great things to uplift society and change the world for the better, even if I have to offer my life and make valuable sacrifices. That’s just the way things are with me. This is my identity.

Could-have-beens, if-only’s, and what-ifs may come and go but I’ll just do what I can for now.

With this in mind, I hope can finally get myself to lighten up and rest more often. Sweet dreams! Zzz…

Good luck, godspeed, God bless!